I’ve been blogging very casually in this space for a few years now. It’s been a fun outlet to share my thoughts and views on things, and to begin conversations. But recently – and out of the blue – I felt a shift happen here. Let me tell you about it.
Every New Year, I ask God for a word for the following year; a year that will propel me into what He has in store for me, that will inspire me, and that will be a sounding board for all that will come. This year, He gave me the word “EMPOWER”.
I chewed on this word for a while, and wrote it down – along with these definitions and synonyms above – but didn’t really know what it meant for me. To be honest, it sounded a little like a word for a womens’ rights movement, but not necessarily a word to define my year.
Well, not long after He spoke this word to me, I went on a whirlwind of “heart surgery”. I don’t think I’ve ever had God reveal and deal with so much of my heart and some hidden parts of it at one time, ever before. It’s been wild, scary, exciting, freeing, and hard. But I haven’t been alone. And God is doing a good work in me. Again.
See, I grew up in a “nice Christian home”, but came out very damaged. I was adopted, was the only girl after 5 boys, lived in a home that lacked empathy and was wrought with silence. You don’t talk about problems, and if you do, you ARE the problem.
Well, that doesn’t go so well for an ENFP, a 7 with an 8 wing on the enneagram, scapegoated adopted child, and empath. I am wired for honesty and keeping things hidden doesn’t work for me. Not only that, we know from Ephesians 5:11-14 that we are to expose the things that are done in dark; when we shine the light on them, they become visible. The enemy and his design is to keep things hidden; God wants them brought to light so they no longer hold power.
So I dug deep, and it’s not been easy. It’s not been easy to face the past, to face what happened to me as a vulnerable adopted child, to face the acts of commission and omission that left me wounded, when what I needed as a child was to be nurtured and protected.
Guys, it’s been hard. But also so, so good. Something in me is changing. It always does when these seasons come. A new part of me gets woken up and more old, rusty parts get put away.
And in the midst of this, God reminded me of that word. EMPOWER. Ahhh. Now it’s beginning to make sense. “Make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights.” That’s what God is speaking to me! “Emancipate, unshackle, set free, liberate.” He wants more freedom for me. He wants more freedom for you. If we’re open, He will always take us to new levels. It isn’t always easy (it rarely is), but we don’t go it alone.
So I asked God, “what is it you want from me in this? How do I respond?” And He said to me,
“Empower my daughters.”
So that’s what this blog is about – it is about telling my story. It is about speaking up about my journey of pulling back the layers of my heart, and letting God come in a do a work. It is about not staying where I was, but moving forward to bigger and better things. It is about being EMPOWERED and then turning around and EMPOWERING others.
You see, our stories aren’t just about us. No. Our stories are also for others. How else will someone else know that they will be okay? That they’re not alone, when they have also been silenced? Because someone told their story.
So this is mine. I hope you can come and be empowered – emancipated, unshackled, liberated, and set free – here. It’s what your Father wants for you and for me.
Thanks for coming by and joining me on my journey.